Grief … a journey of loss

Date: 3rd May 2018

Why are we not taught about grief at school?  Most of us learn about grief as we experience it, and it can be a pretty rough way to learn. There is so much to learn about grieving, especially as we all grieve in different ways and in different time frames. There is no ‘normal’ way to grieve.

Grief can come from any loss we experience not just the loss of a life. Loss of a body part, a home, moving to another location, friends moving away, redundancy, to name just a few.

Many of us are familiar with Elizabeth Kubler Ross’s five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) and they generally find that these stages reflect their initial grieving process and what they are going through.

 As a grief counsellor I find that people who are struggling with working through a loss find it helpful after the initial flood of emotions to be aware of the Tasks of Grief- by William Worden

  1. To accept the reality of the loss.
  2. To work through the pain of the grief.
  3. Making changes and learning how to live differently-problem solving and learning new skills.
  4. Explore and develop options for a different way of life-finding meaning and purpose in life and having motivation to do things.

These tasks can be blocked in a number of ways, and this slows or stops the grieving process which is not helpful in the long term. When we grieve we move through these tasks; there is no time limit to get the tasks done and we may go backwards and forwards between the different tasks before the ‘work’ is done.

Our society does not grieve well and we are often expected to pull ourselves together and get on with life in a very short time. Take your time to face it and feel it, then give it to God and ask Him to help you as you work through the tasks of grief.

If you feel you are stuck with a task and not making progress it may be helpful to talk to a grief counsellor.

 

About Jenny Gardyne

After many years as a Primary, Secondary and then Tertiary teacher Jenny worked for a number of Christian Organisations in a variety of roles before training as a Counsellor. She has been counselling and Supervising people in Christian Ministry for many years and now works from home as a Supervisor of people in Christian Ministry and as a Grief Counsellor.

To contact Jenny  03 4894579

 


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